What's in Kelvin's Head

Upon stepping out into the street this morning at about 8 am, I saw out of the corner of my eye a person walking up Great Western Road, towards St Mary’s wearing not a stitch of clothing. She walked with quite a determined gait and then disappeared into a sidestreet. She did not come to [...]

The scene is Sauchiehall Street in Glasgow at 8 pm on a Sunday evening. I am making my way to see a film about the impossibility of love between two men, one from Nablus (a city of some significance to the Samaritans, interestingly enough given this morning’s Gospel reading) and one from Tel Aviv. I’m [...]

The scene is the barber’s shop. I stand framed in the doorway and am greeted by Jamie the Barber. Jamie the Barber: Phew! Self: I’d like a haircut. Jamie the Barber: You’re in the right place sir. Just come over here and sit yourself down. A pause. Jamie the Barber: I’ll just… if you don’t… [...]

A knock at the door. I answer it to find a young man wearing black T-shirt, black shorts (were they boxer shorts?) and no shoes or socks. Me: Hello Him: Er hello. Me: Can I help. Him: Er, I was just wondering if you had any white wine vinegar. Me: Oh, hang on a minute. [...]