And here is my own response

Here is my own response to the Government Consultation on Civil Partnership and Same-Sex Marriage.

It differs quite a lot, particularly in the sections on Civil Partnership, from the submission from St Mary’s Vestry which I posted earlier and which was reported on the BBC Website amongst other places.

The nub of the matter for me is opening up marriage to same-sex couples. I think that tinkering with Civil Partnership to allow it to be registered in church is a side-show.

Here’s how I answered the substantive question on marriage:

I long to be able to perform marriages for same-sex couples. I belong to a congregation where the majority view is believed to be in favour of conducting such ceremonies. I acknowledge that there are some people in my congregation for whom this would be a troubling development and consider it part of my job to help people with different religious views to be able to co-exist happily together.

I believe marriage to be sacramental – in other words, I believe that a marriage has the potential to show forth God’s grace in the world. I believe that gay couples have the potential to show that grace in the same way that opposite sex couples can do. Thus, I am in favour of marriage being opened to same-sex couples because of my religious convictions.

As a gay man I would like to be able to be married should I ever meet the right partner.

If I were unable to marry because of the law, I would feel that the law was sponsoring discrimination against me because of my sexuality and my gender.

If I were unable to marry in church because of the law but could be married elsewhere, I would feel that the law was sponsoring discrimination against me because of my religion.

If I were allowed by law to marry but refused by my church then I would believe that I was the victim of church sponsored discrimination.

I am actively working with others to change my own denomination in order that it will be able to take advantage of the proposed changes in the law in this area. Having seen how much the Scottish Episcopal Church has already changed its beliefs about marriage, its wedding liturgies and in its acceptance of gay clergy, it is not difficult for me to imagine a church where discrimination against gay people is a thing of the past. I think that bringing the church to a position where marriages can be celebrated between two people of the same sex will be achieved very soon.

It is a relatively simple matter to change Canon Law. The church does it all the time. Though it takes a couple of years to do so and involves great discussion throughout the church, it is a process which is constantly in use and with which many people in the church are familiar.

I believe that the change that the church has made in recognising a that a couple getting married is formed of two equal people entering into a mutual loving relationship rather than being a matter of property whereby a woman was handed over from one owner (her father) to a new one (her husband) is far more significant than the change needed to allow the church to agree to marry a same-sex couple.

The consultation closes tonight (Friday) at midnight. The easiest way to respond is through the Equal Marriage website. It takes about 5 minutes to respond on that site. Alternatively there is the full consultation response, which can be found here.

The Mothers’ Union and Marriage

One of the most interesting submissions to the Scottish Government’s consultation on Same-Sex Marriage is surely going to be the one from the Mothers’ Union.

I’m not going to rehearse the articles that I’ve put up on this blog about the MU and its attitude to all things gay in the past, but suffice it to say that one of the search terms that seems consistently to drive traffic to this blog is “Mothers’ Union, Homophobia”. For better or for worse (to misappropriate a phrase from the marriage service), this is one of the places that people look to work out what the MU think about these issues.

One of the things that my friends in the MU have always said when I’ve appeared to be mildly critical of the organisation, is that the MU is passionate about supporting all kinds of families and has a special concern that marriage offers something holy and good to the world to strengthen family life.

It seems to me that the current consultation is quite a significant moment for the MU. Does the MU in Scotland actually support all kinds of families. Locally, MU leaders have always been insistent to me that they support stable gay couples and believe that the values they stand for are not just for straight people.

Well, it will soon be time to find out whether what they’ve been telling me is true. I’m quite hopeful. The MU has supported many a radical campaign in the past and they are an amazing bunch of people when they get behind something.

I’m fascinated to know whether the Scottish MU is going to get behind the equal marriage campaign. It seems absolutely designed for them doesn’t it? They say they support marriage. They say to me that they support gay couples. It will be great news for the church if that turns out to be true and they support the moves towards equal marriage and help the rest of the church towards acceptance. It could well happen – never underestimate the MU, is a motto of mine.

One of the things which might be a determining factor is whether MU High Command in London gets involved. In the past when I’ve gently chided the MU, Mary Sumner House in London has been on the phone complaining to my bishop very quickly indeed. (They don’t like their brand being commented on negatively. They actually call it their brand too). My impression, which might be right or might be wrong is that MU leaders that I know in Scotland have been reasonably supportive of gay clergy and several times such individuals have insisted to me that the MU round here is supportive of gay couples in relationships and gay families in particular. Whether that support exists in Mary Sumner House, I have my doubts. My fear would be that it is dominated by appeasers of less reasonable parts of the Anglican Communion. However, one often hopes to be proved wrong.

Well, we shall see very soon what values the MU in Scotland actually have in these areas. I can’t see how they could not respond the government consultation. It is right up their alley.

Here’s hoping that what they’ve always said to me in private round here turns out to be true in public in Scotland.

Diocesan Discussions

We had a really good afternoon discussing proposed changes to the law on marriage this afternoon at the wonderful St Bartholomew’s, Gourock. This little church is high up overlooking the Clyde with views of the dark brooding cloud that hangs over Dunoon. It has recently been gorgeously refurbished, something that their Rector, Drew Sheridan and the people there must feel immensely proud of.

Anyway, we were there this afternoon to talk about the possibility of allowing Civil Partnerships in religious premises and the possibility of allowing same-sex couples to enter into marriage in some form or another. It was an excellent discussion – really helpful all round. I had thought that there might be a low turnout but in the end more than 30 people gathered with Bishop Gregor for a really thoughtful time.

It was worth it to hear surprising things. I was surprised to hear Fr Gadgetvicar from our neighbours at St Silas speaking much more positively than I would have expected about how there might be a place for blessing gay couples in church as part of the pastoral care of such people. In turn, he seemed surprised (nay, astonished) at my answer when he asked me how many gay blessings a year we are doing at St Mary’s. (Answer, none this year, none have been asked for). I wonder whether he thought we did little else.

Of those who spoke, a couple of people were against opening up marriage to same-sex couples. Most who spoke seemed to be broadly in favour. Some were passionately so. Some remained in thoughtful silence listening to what was going on and clearly still in a place where their minds were not made up.

Interestingly, the discussion got on to what processes the church would need to go through in order to proceed to conduct such weddings. People were very interested in the synodical processes that might be needed in order to change Canon Law. There seemed to be the view that if the law changed, the church would inevitably face the discussion at synodical level and that no-one could predict the outcome. They wanted to know how it could be done.

I found myself feeling quite moved by the discussion. Firstly that it was happening at all and that it happened so well. We had a great meeting listening to one another, respectful of one another and caring about one another. Secondly that I was hearing members of the church, not activists or policy-wonks or politicians or attention seekers like me, but ordinary church members, arguing passionately for same-sex marriage.

When you grow up never hearing any positive word ever spoken in church (or anywhere, come to think about it) about being gay and have a suspicion that it might affect you, it does something to you that is hard to describe to other people. It can lead to barrenness of expectation. It leads many people never to grow in grace or faith or hope or love. Similarly I struggle to explain what it feels like now on odd occasions when people whose voices have not previously been heard begin to speak with authority and passion about their own sons, daughters, brothers and sisters and their relationships. I find it hard to put into language. Indeed, it moves me beyond words to realise that it isn’t me who is out on a limb arguing for something that people don’t understand and don’t believe I’ll never see. It is real and round the corner and supported by people whom I should never underestimate.

I can’t really describe what that feels like to sit amongst all that but along with others I can taste something in the air. It is the sweet taste of longed-for change that is coming more quickly than most people ever thought possible.

Scottish Government Consultation

Just to note with rejoicing that the Scottish Government has published its initial consultation on changes that are proposed to marriage law and civil partnership law in Scotland.

I’m sorry that the consultation makes repeated use of the phrase “same-sex marriage”. What I’m hoping for is opening marriage to same-sex couples. We need there to be one institution that is equally open to straight couples and gay couples.

Fortunately, the consultation does ask for comments on changes to the law that would achieve that. There are some proposals in it that would not achieve that, so careful responses are necessary.

The document is available here.

I now find myself wondering whether there needs to be some information meetings organised to help people to make informed responses.

Attitudes

Now, there has been some real news worth noting in the week that is passed. The new Scottish Social Attitudes survey has been published. It is a huge survey of what people in Scotland think about a number of different things. The value of this research is that they keep asking the same questions over different surveys for a number of years. Thus you get an incredibly useful snapshot of what the people think which can be compared over time.

This year’s survey has just been published and the big headline news is the massive shift in attitudes towards gay people that are demonstrated by the survey.

This year’s survey shows that support for gay people is much higher than it was in previous years and the specific issue of opening marriage to same-sex couples is now supported by nearly two thirds of the population. The proportion of people supporting that policy is up from 41% in 2002 to 61% now. It is an enormous shift in views.

The survey also found that the group most resistant to supporting that policy is the group of people who attend religious worship at least once a week. There is far less corrolation between anti-gay views and people who go to worship less often than there is between the weekly worshippers. In other words, our problem is the pious.

There’s a mission issue there, actually. One interpretation of those figures is that the people who might be most likely to come to church more may well be being put off by the social attitudes on gay issues (which are becoming distinctively held by pious people) of those who do go. If your congregation puts out a negative message on gay people either from the pulpit or the negatively expressed prejudice of the most faithful then you may well be repelling not only gay people who might come but the most likely people who would otherwise come whatever their sexuality.

Yesterday during the Conversation which followed the Eucharist, Bishop Christopher Senyonjo asked me why I think this change in social attitudes has taken place. I named two things – firstly the courage of those who have come out. Rôle models are so important. At many levels of society there are gay and lesbian people willing to come out and be known. (The social attitudes survey shows that if someone believes they know a gay person their attidudes are much likely to be more accepting than if they don’t). Secondly, the establishment of Civil Partnerships has given people new positive images of gay people. Whereas once gay people were defined in people’s minds by what they did (or more likely were imagined to do) in bed, all of a sudden there is a new visual narrative. Cakes, rings, friends, family and joy have replaced other mental images. I’m not arguing that is liberation – it isn’t. It is conformity to a rather conservative mindset. However, right now in our history, it has been an incredibly important part of what has shifted people’s attitudes.

Thinking about this question a day later, I’d add a further answer. Thirdly, I’d say, the other big thing that has led to things changing is straight people being willing come out. The biggest shift in the last five years or so that I can think of is the emergence of straight allies unwilling to put up with prejudice against their gay friends, family members and colleagues. There have always been wonderful straight allies. But in recent years their numbers have blossomed. Straight people being willing to come out as straight allies and stand up to prejudice is a big part of the story.

A couple of years ago, I came to the view that the thing to concentrate on in the struggle was changing attitudes in society rather than the church. The time may be coming to think again about helping church folk to catch up with what God and good-hearted people are up to in the world. The problem, after all, is  the pious.

For now though, a time to celebrate an massive shift in Scottish social attitudes. And remember, if it can be achieved on this issue, it can be achived on all the rest too.

Kelvin Holdsworth – on Friendship

Here is this morning’s sermon on friendship which was delivered in a rather chilly church.

There is something iconic about the friends who take their paralyzed friend to Jesus.

I remember doing it in Sunday school. We listened to the story. We acted it out. We coloured it in.

There is something wonderfully visual about the story of them carrying him towards the house where Jesus is and then kept out by the crowd taking him up onto the roof and carefully lowering him down towards the healer.

It is an iconic picture postcard of the healing Jesus.

This morning, I want to use those friends as the starting point for what I want to say. A leaping off point for thinking not about the healing miracle that Jesus does but about the miracle of healing and wholeness which friendship itself represents.
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Promoting Marriage

On the catwalk

Have spent much of the day at the Scottish Weddings Show promoting marriage and particularly the idea of getting married in church. Parts of the day were a blast and it was fantastic to meet so many people.

The impetus for this came from the stall that the Scottish Episcopal Church had last year at the Christian Resources Exhibition (aka Nexus) when I was heard to say repeatedly, “This is a waste of time – we are trying to promote the church at an event where everyone already goes to other churches, we need to be at the Weddings Show promoting church weddings, or the Ideal Homes Exhibition promoting spirituality.”

Anyhoo, so it came to pass. Not content with simply meeting and greeting, there was also an exciting press call involving two stunning models, a glamorous (some would say shameless) provost and a catwalk. When in such a situation, you just need to have the words of the Apostle going around your head: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel; it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who has faith, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.” (That’s from the first chapter of Romans, you know). He knew a thing or two about press-calls did Paul of Tarsus, if you ask me.

My kind of religion all round.

Tomorrow, it is back for more, amidst lots of liturgy and the Radio 4 broadcast at 0810. There are good times to be had by all.

Oh, and by the way, there is going to be the most gorgeous evensong on Sunday evening – all the music has been chosen by Organist Emeritus Bernard Porter who happens to be 80 (or so people say) this weekend. Kickoff is at 1830 and it will be fantastic. All welcome.

In the media

It is not that long since I was basking in the glory of a certain double page spread in Vanity Fair. (And yes, I am still carrying that edition around with me).

Today it is the Daily Mail. (And no, I’m not carrying that edition around with me).

This is in connection with my new role as the public face of marriage in the Scottish Episcopal Church. We believe in it, you know.

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I gather that the Courier, the Herald and the Currant Bun also have the story.